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HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE TOO OLD TO GIG
by Gaye Adegbalola
Article #30
Spring, 2006
Happy Spring everyone!
I haven't written anything here since December, 2005. In February, instead of writing, I opted to create a new gallery of some of my sheroes. Hope you've had an opportunity to visit.
However, as promised in my December writing, I have been doing for self. Suzanne and I went to Mexico in January -- had an incredible week being pampered at a spa and made what I call a mecca to Frida Kahlo's home (powerfully inspirational . . . relatively speaking, I have no pain). March found us beside the peaceful teal waters of St. Croix, in the Virgin Islands.
Because I haven't written in so long, I had a wealth of topics to choose from. Many of them decided to channel themselves into songs. I imagine that in the next few months you'll see some completed lyrics here. In the meanwhile, I want to share a delightful email.
I received this gem from Cathy Ponton-King, a long-time blues woman (vocalist, guitarist, composer) from the D.C. area. While we've never met, we've developed a great cyberspace friendship. I think part of our connection is her warped sense of philosophical humor. Hope you'll share this with all your musician friends who are like me. . . gigging seniors. Maybe soon we'll be doing our rockin' in chairs.
YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD TO GIG, IF . . .
--Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.
--You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.
-- You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
-- The waitress is your daughter.
-- You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.
-- You don't let anyone "sit in."
-- You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
-- Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with the extra money.
-- Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
-- You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
-- You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
-- You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
-- Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.
-- Most of the hair you've plucked from your chin or nose is gray.
-- You refuse to play out of tune.
-- It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan, than your amp.
-- You love shopping the Dollar Store because you can sing along to most of your playlist.
-- All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
-- YOU HAVE TO ENLARGE THE FONT TO READ THIS.
-- You can't figure out the directions to the gig.
-- You no longer use a tip jar.
-- High notes make you cough.
-- After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
-- You want an opening act.
-- You need a nap before the gig.
-- You're related to at least one other member of the band.
-- During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals.
-- All your friends are musicians.
-- You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
-- Your drugs of choice are Ibuprofen and correctol.
-- You notice that you play better than most of the younger players and know way more songs.
-- You prefer a music stand with a light.
-- During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.
-- You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
-- You can't operate without a set list.
-- You discourage playing longer than contracted.
-- You have a contract.
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